Far more apt.
Last month, about four VO2 workouts into my plan to get ready for Kelso, the final nail in the coffin was hit.
I don't want to do this anymore. I'm clinging on to my dreams of yesteryear. The fire has died.
I did a small race last week and proceeded to get my ass handed to me - as expected. But more importantly, I was riding a course that I loved, was in perfect condition, and suited my relative strengths.... but it didn't resonate with me. The highlight was talking in the parking lot after. After I had stopped racing on the 3rd lap of a 4 lap race...
Put simply. I don't care anymore.
My mind is off racing all together. I don't even check race results anymore unless its an important race for a friend.
It's also probably why I don't update anymore.
This blog thus far has been a dichotomy of A: Training and improving and B: Mental unraveling while shifting focus.
Towards the end it was a schizophrenic train wreck of confused priorities.
I'm done with racing.
That being said, I'm putting this blog on hiatus. I don't have anything interesting to say about my cycling adventures anymore-- unless of course the musings of my commute pique your interest...
Its scary to see how something that quite literally embodied your life for the past decade can become irrelevant in a span of months.
I started working at a bike shop when I was 14, and it was full on from there on in. Eating, sleeping and breathing cycling.
However, in the big picture, Ive never been happier with my life. Its good to be 25. The world is your oyster. So many things to see and do, so little time.
Now to get on with that...
Thanks for reading!
